All This Time, Were You This Unprepared For War, Mr. Soprano?

I know I’ve already written a bit about the The Sopranos setup for the series finale next week….but I have to wonder….

I know there are some who think I might take this a bit too far, but I’m a strong believer that only when you allow art to suspend your disbelief — whether that be during a movie or reading a Stephen King book or playing Grand Theft Auto or listening to a song by Erykah Badu — do you allow yourself to truly enjoy the experience. And thus is the case with The Sopranos.

My, how the mighty have fallen. It wasn’t long ago after that fateful day on September 11 that I felt a bit of pride after getting an e-mail with this picture attached…

….and now, the crew from New Jersey has been relegated to this???

This is Patsy — you might not be able to recognize him when he’s haulin’ ass.

And with that and other recent events, I’ve got not other choice but to express my thoughts to the big man……



An Open Letter to Mr. Anthony Soprano

Dear Mr. Soprano:

I completely realize that as the boss of a major family that your proverbial plate is full, to say the least. But watching the New York amateurs take your team apart in a matter of hours makes me question your leadership, sir. Now, I know you’re a fictional character and all and that Mr. Chase is trying to make sure that you and your high-priced colleagues don’t try to hit HBO up for millions to do one more show after you’re decided to leave the property. But putting that piece of metadata aside for a moment, I have to ask whether someone with such responsibility ever considered devising a plan in case of emergencies like this? Hell, there are low income families in poverty who have better emergency plans in case their house catches fire. I always watched your team parade around Nutley and Bloomfield and Clinton the other towns in New Jersey and wondered if you all weren’t just a bit too comfortable considering the fact that your families (that being NY and NJ) weren’t always on “the best of terms”. Recent events have certainly exposed that.

Hopefully heading into next week you’ll prevail triumphant despite your lack of planning. Here’s hoping for the best…. (but not really feeling that good about your chances considering the fact that you’ve got guys I’ve never seen before thinking about ordering food at a time of crisis and that your wife is living her worst fear coupled by the fact that your son is suicidal and thinking about his own mortality. (Something I’m sure the two of you are probably sharing right now.) And then there’s that small matter of Meadow’s car having been rear-ended setting up a possible mistaken identity with her still unaccounted for and presumed well. After all, she does represent the single shred of hope that the family has for developing a person who contributes positively to society.

Sorry to be such burden in your time of need, but I wanted to write this now because I don’t think I’ll get to express how I feel about you once the episode airs next week (if you know what I mean….)




And let this be a lesson to us all. We can’t wait until war comes to our front door to devise a plan. We must prepare the plan before the enemy attacks. Discuss all alternatives. Constantly rethink our strategy when the conditions change. Or else we’ll end up holed-up in a 1960’s-era house away from our family, with our consigliere on life support and lying on a stale mattress holding an M-16.


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